what is holding you back?
The people who tend to have what they want in life, tend to be the people who understand what they control and what they don't control.
They do this by grouping things into the following:
What they can directly control, e.g. their own behaviours and how they react to situations
What they have some influence over, but don't completely control, e.g. other peoples actions and behaviours
What they can't control or have any influence over, e.g. the weather
Successful people tend to focus most of their efforts on the first group, on things they can directly control, the things they are directly responsible for. Successful people also accept that if there is something beyond their influence and control, then there is no point in spending time and effort on it.
In short, successful people focus on what they can do to achieve what they want and let other things go. Therefore they have complete ownership of the situation and the results it produces.
This is true of a person's health and well-being and more specifically their weight. People who have achieved long-term weight loss didn't blame their parents for teaching them poor eating habits or their friends for tempting them to do things that hinder weight loss.
They don't blame a lack of time for exercise or the gym they go to for having poor staff and not the right equipment.
They looked at themselves and came to the conclusion that they are totally responsible for any weight gain or loss they achieve.
'Success Build Success'
To help you better understand how this approach can help you, start recording your behaviours and actions when it comes to nutrition, exercise and lifestyle. This will help you highlight why you are or not getting the results you want.
The next step is now to try to understand why it is that you do what you do. What are the triggers when it comes to your behaviours and habits? For example, emotions or locations can trigger people to eat particular foods or apply certain lifestyle habits.
Identifying the causes of these triggers will help you realise whether, for example, you are eating due to a physical need (hunger) or a psychological need (boredom or peer pressure).
Becoming aware of the difference will help you understand if you are eating to satisfy hunger or due to the environment you are in, the people you are with, or even the mood you are in.
Symptoms are things we use to describe what is actually happening at a certain time. It is bit like going to the Doctor, who then asks us to describe where the pain is, or how it feels.
You must remember though that the Doctor is not going to prescribe a remedy based on your symptoms, what they are doing is using the symptoms to find the cause.
This makes much more sense because it increases the chances of what he prescribes actually working.
Many people try to cure symptoms without knowing the cause. This is a very hit and miss way of trying to achieve something.
So now you understand your symptoms, it is time to discover the reasons behind them. You need to ask questions such as:
"What do I believe is causing this to happen?"
"What else could be behind what I am doing?"
It is important at this stage to identify that you are in the state of 'cause'. What I mean by being in a state of cause is that you focus on things that you are currently doing that is creating your current situation and not focusing on what other people are doing in creating your current situation.
For example, if friends come over for dinner and insist on having wine with their meal, it is your choice to have wine with them or not.
You can't blame your lack of self-control on your friends, as you only have control over what you choose.
Only when you are in the state of 'cause' will you be able to take self-responsibility for your actions and have effective lasting results.
To get yourself in a state of 'cause' ask yourself the following:
· "What is stopping me achieving the outcome I want?"
If you identify what it is that is holding you back, then ask:
· "What would I rather have instead of what I currently have?"
Keep asking yourself these questions every time you struggle to apply the solutions you know are needed to achieve your body transformation goal.
By doing this you will start to realise the underlying cause to what is holding you back. To confirm this, ask the following:
Do you have all the resources needed to achieve the outcome you want?
How is your environment impacting on your ability to achieve your goal?
How are your behaviours influencing your current situation? What behaviour might you have to change?
What skills do you currently possess to achieve your goal and what other skills might you need?
What beliefs do you have in achieving the outcome you want? Are they limiting you or empowering you?
Does achieving your goal fit in with how you view yourself?
How highly do you value the outcome you want?
How does achieving the goal you want, fit in with the people around you?
Are your answers positive or negative? The more positive your answers, the more you are in the state of 'cause' and an understanding that you are solely responsible for your actions and outcome.
Successful change, which to me means permanent, takes place when a person takes self-responsibility for their actions, which is causing their current situation.
This though takes time and often the real cause for what is holding you back is buried quite deeply and for that reason, you need to be willing to take one step at a time.